Bipolar: A Play In Two Acts.

Setting:

Gray interior. Brain like. Intermittent flashes of light pierce the stage and backdrop. Synapses.

2 Chairs are placed on the stage. 1 stage left. 1 stage right.

Players:

An actress playing a combination of elation, excitement, confidence, and optimism. We'll call the character... Hannah.

An actor playing a combination of depression, boredom, insecurity and pessimism. We'll call the character... Bob.

OR

1 actor or actress plays both Hannah and Bob.

ACT 1: Pole Position 1.

Curtain Opens.

Hannah sits in the chair on stage left. Bob sits in the chair on stage right. Synapses fire randomly around them.

OR

Hannah sits in the chair on stage left. The chair on stage right is empty.

Hannah: Maps, DNA and Spam. Gosh! What a feeling! Maps, DNA and Spam! Say it a'loud! Scream it with me! What a perfect sentence. Maps, DNA and Spam! What an amazing thing it is to be able to speak such a sentence! To experience life! Even moments of sorrow are glints of light. It means I'm alive! I vote for life! Who else around me votes for life?! Well then: Rise to vote sir! Rise to Vote Sir! Just today I was thinking how easy it is to accomplish anything. Every dream and goal and idea set forth in this incredible soul of mine, I can conquer it! It's funny, I don't remember a day when I felt I was unable to control my destiny. I've always felt that I was gifted in looks and talent and sexual prowess. Look at me, I'm beautiful. I'm intelligent. The answers to all of mankind problems lie inside of me. And through me they'll be solved. The laughter I hear around me, that's the sound of celebration. For my friends - they laugh with me. When I pass a stranger on the street, I smile and look them in the eye, and when they don't return the gesture, I know they are sad, and insecure, and I hope for better things for them, and I know they will one day have better things, and one day, they will be happy, and confident just like me. OH! Maps, DNA, and Spam! My phone rang non-stop today. There were moments I had to disconnect the line, just so that I could get a moments rest. I was invited to so many wonderful events. And the ones I could attend were magical. People love me. I love people. The universe is a just and simple entity, one in which we are all harmoniously connected. I'm so glad to be alive. I feel so healthy and with every breath I take, I filter the knowledge of peace through my body. I'm like a fish living naturally underwater. Maps, DNA, and SPAM! Shout it with me! Maps, DNA, and SPAM! Who is the most wonderful being as long as I'm alive? Is it I? It is I!

Hannah moves from the chair and makes her way to center stage.

Curtain.

5 Minute Intermission.

ACT 2: Pole Position 2.

Curtain Opens.

Hannah sits in the chair on stage left. Bob sits in the chair on stage right. Synapses fire randomly around them.

OR

Hannah stands center stage, walks to the chair on stage right and becomes Bob.

Bob: Won't I panic in a pit now? Won't I panic in a pit now? I wheeze when I breathe. I am sure I have lung cancer, or some terrible form of a rare disease that hasn't been seen since our ancestors braved the Oregon Trail. Xanax! Xanax! I need a pill. Something to make me feel better. But, doctors, they don't prescribe me pills. Xanax! Where are you?! I'm no good at anything. I'm a failure. I'll continue to fail no matter what I do. I have zero talent. I'm a talentless pitiful fuck who when all is said and done will die a tragic being with no soul, no family, no loved ones, no friends. I've wasted my life. It's too late to turn back. It's too late to move forward. When I look in the mirror, I ask myself, Was it a rat I saw? Was it a rat I saw! I'm ugly. My teeth are crooked. They'll never be straight and I will always be a monster. I'm hideous. Disgusting. To Idiot, You are an ugly, disgusting, fat, crooked toothed pig! To IDIOT! Strangers can't even look at you. Yes! Idiot! That's me. Strangers, they can't even bare to look at me when I walk down the street. They are too good for me. I look up at them, they turn away, I'm not worth their time. I can hear people laughing! At me! At the vile, waste of space that I am. HA! HAHAHA! Their laughter is like a demented clown's hatred! And rightfully so. I deserve to be laughed at, shunned. I'm a phony. Everyone knows it. I know it. I have proof of it when the phone doesn't ring. When nobody answers my desperate calls. I'm lonely and uninvited. Alone. I hate this world. This life. I'd rather be dead than struggle one more moment with this random string of events. What a dark hole we live in. Even when I search for milk it always ends up like this: no trace, not one carton. I don't remember a time when I felt good about anything. For fuck's sake! I couldn't get a girl if my life depended on it. Not with this body. Not with this mind. Not with this soul. I feel like a fish out of water, writhing violently before my pathetic death. What is there as long as I'm alive?... Evil, a sin is alive!

Curtain.

End.